Some things that grabbed me on this one 268193
Dear Yudit,

Even if you didn't seek to put any "literary devices" in the song, some ended up in it, anyway. When I read the two first lines, the association I had (combining them with the title) was of a mother who had given birth in the hospital and was searching for her baby. So the inversion of roles, that continues in the song (big daughter, small mother; she pulled out the sting and the daughter can't do the same for her), becomes even more poignant. It makes the leading idea - that the daughter becomes a mother - more vivid somehow.

It's hard to explain what the last two lines do for me. Beyond the idea that the good the mother had done cannot be returned, there are two things that are going on: firstly, the cry of despair at the end, as if the mother is asking the daughter for something she cannot give (perhaps sobbing, like the daughter did before). Secondly, the usage of the word "lishlof" is very strong. It's as if we're searching for a mythical evil agent inside the body which, upon being pulled out, makes you better. Contrasting this science-fictionish notion of illness and cure with the realistic situation of age and illness has a very strong effect.

I really, really enjoyed this poem, and it moved me to tears.
Some things that grabbed me on this one 268208
תודה רבה הדר,
אני חושבת שלשלוף היא מילה חזקה
כי מקורה בתנ''ך והיא מסוג המילים
הטעונות מרובות האסוציאציות.
לעיתים כשאני רוצה לאמר משהו
והוא קיים בתחושה
אבל לא מוצאת מילה מתאימה להבעה
אני מחפשת בתנ''ך,
המילים הראשוניות הן בעלות עוצמה.

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